Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Hey Nana Nana

I've never been one to diet. Frankly, I don't like the idea of following some fad diet because what happens when you lose all the weight? Do you continue to count your points on every snack and meal? Do you continue to keep an entire food group out of your daily diet? Do you continue to get your freeze dried space food through mail order for the rest of your life?

But I'm getting older, and I find myself having a much harder time keeping the scale down... which means I am turning to diets. I know the basics- hold the cheese and butter, grilled over fried, vinegar-based dressings over mayo-based dressings. I mean, how is this still "New Information" for some people? Who out there is still shocked to find out that a salad is not usually a healthy choice if it is topped with chicken fingers and ranch dressing? And yet this very item is used in every weight loss article as an example of a bad diet choice.

However, there are still some real diet shockers out there... For example, did you know that a full banana is actually TWO servings? That's right, we're only supposed to eat half of a banana, and save the severed, rotting other half for a later serving... Are you kidding me? Isn't that why Mother Nature created the banana in it's own conveniently handy self-contained wrapper? It is it's own serving! Who is full on ONE HALF of a banana? And I never know how to store the other half without it turning disgustingly slimy.

Another fun fact- soft pretzels are not nearly as diet-friendly as I once thought they were---- apparently, they are really quite destructive to your weight loss regime. When I was in high school, this was teenage girl's lunch staple- a soft pretzel and a diet coke.... But, alas, this is actually carbohydrate conundrum wrapped in bready salted goodness!

My soup has too much sodium, my bbq sauce has too much sugar, and blueberries (the wonder food) are too damn expensive. I'm going back to basics. 5 food groups, 8 glasses of water and all that crap. We'll see how far it gets me, but at least it's a plan I can stick to. And if you see me noshin' on a banana, you can bet I'm finishing that bitch.

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