I recently met another mom at church, and we've become fast friends. I already get along with her very well- she's funny, smart, and she has a little boy who is only a few weeks older than my daughter. Even better, she loves to get together for moms nights out, which I'm always game for!
A short while ago, she needed to switch to a gentle formula for her son. He had been having trouble with the regular stuff, which happens to be the kind I use, so she offered me what she had left over. When we met up the other day at the mall, she handed me a bag overflowing with baby formula as we ate in the food court.
"I'm just happy you use the same kind- there are those travel size pouches and also there's a can of powdered formula that's opened- We switched his formula after we started using that can. I completely understand if you don't want to use it, you can just dump it if you don't want to."
"Are you kidding me??" I exclaimed, wide eyed. I had just switched almost exclusively to formula from breastmilk in the past week, and that decision was costing me a pretty penny. "I'm not wasting any of it!"
She gave me a knowing smile. "Well, if you change your mind, don't feel bad about tossing it."
Later, at home, I showed my husband the goods. There was seriously at least $50 worth of baby formula in the bag, so we were pretty siked. I pulled out the large opened can- we hadn't even gotten up the nerve to drop the cash on a can that size yet, and it was nearly 3/4 full!
"That's awesome," he said as he unstrapped the baby from her car seat.
"I know! And she told me I don't have to use this can if I don't want to, but what, like, is she gonna poison our baby or something? I met her in church, for pete's sake!" We both had a good laugh at the thought.
The next morning I kissed my husband as he left for work, settled the baby into her bouncy chair, and started my morning ritual--- empty the dishwasher, fill the dishwasher, wipe down the counters, fix my coffee, and finally I began to prepare the baby's formula bottles for the day. I was just about out of powder in the can I had been using, so I scraped out the final two scoops and set aside the empty can.
"Sweet!" I thought, as I reached for my recently acquired free formula. I cracked open the lid to the large can, reached inside for the scoop and was just about to dip in when.......
"Hmmmm......" Something came over me----- a sensation, a feeling- I can't quite explain it, but something stopped my hand mid movement just at that point. I peered inside at the fine dusty white powder. It didn't look unusual at all... I gave the can a little shake--- I don't know what I was really looking for, but for a moment I had a "What If" thought. Almost immediately I shook it off and dipped the scooper in. That's ridiculous, I thought as I dumped one, then two scoops into the bottle. I laughed for a moment at my paranoia. Imagine that- me thinking a girl I met at church was going to poison my baby. I poured the purified water into the bottle and screwed the nipple on top. As I stood there shaking the bottle to mix it, I thought "Well, then again.... isn't this how Lifetime movies are made? I mean, no one really thinks a person is crazy until--- No no no, this is nuts, the formula is FINE- Stop it!"
Shake Shake Shake
I pick up my cell phone and dial my husband.
"What's up, I'm about to walk into the office."
"Hey Babe.... do you think it's safe to use this open can of formula?"
"Do I think it's safe? Why wouldn't it be safe?"
"Well," I continue, "I mean, how well do we really even know this chick?"
There's an audible silence on the other end of the phone. "Are you serious?"
"Look, I'm just saying, chances are she's totally normal and non-crazy! But, WHAT IF she is? What if she's like a nutty lady who stirred some crap into this formula, and now I'm like a sucker?? And I totally fall for it??"
"Well....." I can sense his frustration with even having to deal with my paranoia at 8am on a Wednesday morning. "Don't you think that's a little far fetched?"
"Yea, yea, I know, you're right............ it's just, if this formula is secretly a poison and I kill our baby, well---- I just won't be able to live with myself!! I think I should throw it away."
"You're going to throw away like $25 worth of formula!" Now he's frustrated and annoyed. "I thought you said this girl was really nice."
"Yes," I say, "but aren't the crazy ones always nice? I mean, how well do you really know a person? This is OUR DAUGHTER we're talking about here! I don't want that on my conscience, do you???"
Now he's frustrated, annoyed...... but possibly swaying my way.
"If you want to throw it out, just throw it out."
I didn't think he'd agree that quickly- my husband is definitely not one to waste money. You couldn't sell the man water in a desert. Or at a Tom Petty concert during a heat wave. Seriously? It was like 150 degrees and the man would sooner die of dehydration than pay the $6 for bottled Aquafina inside the arena.
"Do you think I'm being nutty?"
"I think," he says, with a deep sigh, "that you should do whatever you feel comfortable doing."
Yea, way to divert that one- I guess I'll just handle this life-or-death matter with our baby girl on my own!
"Hm. Okay. Have a good day at work then."
I hang up the phone and stare at the bottle sitting, seemingly harmless, on the counter. All at once, I start laughing- I AM nutty! Of course this woman isn't trying to kill my baby! I continue to smile as I pick up the bottle, give it a couple of good shakes, and place it in the fridge. HA! I'm so wacky sometimes... why would someone want to kill my daughter. HA twice! Who goes around plotting the death of infants like that? of adorable little babies? Who indeed? Ha ha. of sweet little angel pies.... my sweetie angel pie. Yea, that's just.... silly. That's totally......
...crazy....
...totally...
I charge over to the fridge and yank the offending bottle off the shelf- I can't get the nipple off fast enough to dump that poisonous liquid down the drain! I rip the lid off the canister of remaining powder and march to the sink and dump the entire contents down the drain. I even give the can a good rinse before I toss it in the trash.
I take a deep breath and look around the kitchen.
Standing there at that moment, I really do laugh- out loud- at myself. I can't believe I just did that. Being a mom really makes a woman paranoid!
Later, I recount the story to my sister and we have a good laugh. She says to me "So you just dumped all that powder down the sink!? I hope you ran the hot water for a while-That stuff is like plaster for your pipes!"
So now I'll probably pay the price of a clogged sink for my sanity, but at least I have peace of mind. I'm 99.9% positive my new friend isn't a psychopath baby-killer, but I know I will be able to sleep tonight after I give my baby her nighttime bottle.
Someday, my new friend might read this story, or I might even tell it to her- and we'll have a good laugh about it. What's even funnier is when I look back on that smile she gave me at the mall when she assured me I could dump the stuff if I wasn't comfortable using it- that knowing smile. It's a little code of mommyhood.... we're all open to new friends, but any one of us will give our very last breath for our child. And if any one little thing makes a mom wary, no explanations are needed- you gotta do what you gotta do.
A short while ago, she needed to switch to a gentle formula for her son. He had been having trouble with the regular stuff, which happens to be the kind I use, so she offered me what she had left over. When we met up the other day at the mall, she handed me a bag overflowing with baby formula as we ate in the food court.
"I'm just happy you use the same kind- there are those travel size pouches and also there's a can of powdered formula that's opened- We switched his formula after we started using that can. I completely understand if you don't want to use it, you can just dump it if you don't want to."
"Are you kidding me??" I exclaimed, wide eyed. I had just switched almost exclusively to formula from breastmilk in the past week, and that decision was costing me a pretty penny. "I'm not wasting any of it!"
She gave me a knowing smile. "Well, if you change your mind, don't feel bad about tossing it."
Later, at home, I showed my husband the goods. There was seriously at least $50 worth of baby formula in the bag, so we were pretty siked. I pulled out the large opened can- we hadn't even gotten up the nerve to drop the cash on a can that size yet, and it was nearly 3/4 full!
"That's awesome," he said as he unstrapped the baby from her car seat.
"I know! And she told me I don't have to use this can if I don't want to, but what, like, is she gonna poison our baby or something? I met her in church, for pete's sake!" We both had a good laugh at the thought.
The next morning I kissed my husband as he left for work, settled the baby into her bouncy chair, and started my morning ritual--- empty the dishwasher, fill the dishwasher, wipe down the counters, fix my coffee, and finally I began to prepare the baby's formula bottles for the day. I was just about out of powder in the can I had been using, so I scraped out the final two scoops and set aside the empty can.
"Sweet!" I thought, as I reached for my recently acquired free formula. I cracked open the lid to the large can, reached inside for the scoop and was just about to dip in when.......
"Hmmmm......" Something came over me----- a sensation, a feeling- I can't quite explain it, but something stopped my hand mid movement just at that point. I peered inside at the fine dusty white powder. It didn't look unusual at all... I gave the can a little shake--- I don't know what I was really looking for, but for a moment I had a "What If" thought. Almost immediately I shook it off and dipped the scooper in. That's ridiculous, I thought as I dumped one, then two scoops into the bottle. I laughed for a moment at my paranoia. Imagine that- me thinking a girl I met at church was going to poison my baby. I poured the purified water into the bottle and screwed the nipple on top. As I stood there shaking the bottle to mix it, I thought "Well, then again.... isn't this how Lifetime movies are made? I mean, no one really thinks a person is crazy until--- No no no, this is nuts, the formula is FINE- Stop it!"
Shake Shake Shake
I pick up my cell phone and dial my husband.
"What's up, I'm about to walk into the office."
"Hey Babe.... do you think it's safe to use this open can of formula?"
"Do I think it's safe? Why wouldn't it be safe?"
"Well," I continue, "I mean, how well do we really even know this chick?"
There's an audible silence on the other end of the phone. "Are you serious?"
"Look, I'm just saying, chances are she's totally normal and non-crazy! But, WHAT IF she is? What if she's like a nutty lady who stirred some crap into this formula, and now I'm like a sucker?? And I totally fall for it??"
"Well....." I can sense his frustration with even having to deal with my paranoia at 8am on a Wednesday morning. "Don't you think that's a little far fetched?"
"Yea, yea, I know, you're right............ it's just, if this formula is secretly a poison and I kill our baby, well---- I just won't be able to live with myself!! I think I should throw it away."
"You're going to throw away like $25 worth of formula!" Now he's frustrated and annoyed. "I thought you said this girl was really nice."
"Yes," I say, "but aren't the crazy ones always nice? I mean, how well do you really know a person? This is OUR DAUGHTER we're talking about here! I don't want that on my conscience, do you???"
Now he's frustrated, annoyed...... but possibly swaying my way.
"If you want to throw it out, just throw it out."
I didn't think he'd agree that quickly- my husband is definitely not one to waste money. You couldn't sell the man water in a desert. Or at a Tom Petty concert during a heat wave. Seriously? It was like 150 degrees and the man would sooner die of dehydration than pay the $6 for bottled Aquafina inside the arena.
"Do you think I'm being nutty?"
"I think," he says, with a deep sigh, "that you should do whatever you feel comfortable doing."
Yea, way to divert that one- I guess I'll just handle this life-or-death matter with our baby girl on my own!
"Hm. Okay. Have a good day at work then."
I hang up the phone and stare at the bottle sitting, seemingly harmless, on the counter. All at once, I start laughing- I AM nutty! Of course this woman isn't trying to kill my baby! I continue to smile as I pick up the bottle, give it a couple of good shakes, and place it in the fridge. HA! I'm so wacky sometimes... why would someone want to kill my daughter. HA twice! Who goes around plotting the death of infants like that? of adorable little babies? Who indeed? Ha ha. of sweet little angel pies.... my sweetie angel pie. Yea, that's just.... silly. That's totally......
...crazy....
...totally...
I charge over to the fridge and yank the offending bottle off the shelf- I can't get the nipple off fast enough to dump that poisonous liquid down the drain! I rip the lid off the canister of remaining powder and march to the sink and dump the entire contents down the drain. I even give the can a good rinse before I toss it in the trash.
I take a deep breath and look around the kitchen.
Standing there at that moment, I really do laugh- out loud- at myself. I can't believe I just did that. Being a mom really makes a woman paranoid!
Later, I recount the story to my sister and we have a good laugh. She says to me "So you just dumped all that powder down the sink!? I hope you ran the hot water for a while-That stuff is like plaster for your pipes!"
So now I'll probably pay the price of a clogged sink for my sanity, but at least I have peace of mind. I'm 99.9% positive my new friend isn't a psychopath baby-killer, but I know I will be able to sleep tonight after I give my baby her nighttime bottle.
Someday, my new friend might read this story, or I might even tell it to her- and we'll have a good laugh about it. What's even funnier is when I look back on that smile she gave me at the mall when she assured me I could dump the stuff if I wasn't comfortable using it- that knowing smile. It's a little code of mommyhood.... we're all open to new friends, but any one of us will give our very last breath for our child. And if any one little thing makes a mom wary, no explanations are needed- you gotta do what you gotta do.
Totally get this. I do feel it is a "new mom" thing.
ReplyDeleteWhen our first was a baby we had a wonderful at home sitter. I would always pump her for detailsa bout how the day went. She was a grandmother, had raised seven kids of her own, very trustworthy.
I am sure she got exasperated with my questions. "Well," she said to me with a smile. "Today i tried to sell him into white slavery. But noone would have him"
I burst into tears.
Really, the joke seems funny NOW. But our son is nearly 15.
So funny!! Thanks for sharing!!
ReplyDelete