So I've been on hiatus! An intentional one, that is. I gave myself permission to take a break from everything while I get accustomed to life with 2 kids, and now that Ryan is 2 months old I feel a little less chaotic.
Just a little.
I had remembered the crying baby and the middle of the night feedings, the swaddling and the shitsplosions, the diaper rashes and cradle cap. Those things I had prepared myself for.
What I had forgotten was the general chaos that comes with a baby. Receiving blankets strewn about, a plethora of diaper bags that all serve various purposes for various kinds of outings needing to be packed and unpacked and repacked several times a week, cleaning off surfaces only to have them covered again with bills, mail, papers, clothes, etc mere hours later.
I have looked longingly at the computer many times over the past few weeks with a desire to write something, anything--- but the fact is there is not much I can give you in a cohesive post that you will want to read. Sure, there have been some funny stories, but my brain is feeling pretty shot right now and I don't have an organized mind to get it out. Plus, I hate pumping out a post just for the sake of it. No one wants to read a litany of my day-to-day activities- that's just a waste of my time and yours.
Even as I write this post, my thoughts are a mess! You should see my computer screen right now- I have several sentences written in no particular order- I'm just churning out a stream of consciousness and I hope, with a little cut n' paste magic, to be able to have a final output that is readable! I'm dealing with the kind of tiredness that makes your body only take on what it can handle and forces you to let go of the other stuff that you can't even deal with right now.
Yesterday in the car, Anna said, "Mommy, I took my boo boo off!"
"Huh?" I looked at her in the rear view mirror. She was inspecting something in her hand. "Oh, you took your bandaid off?"
"Here Mommy! Take it!"
Since we were at a stoplight, I obliged. Reaching back, I felt her drop something small in my hand. I pulled my arm back around and looked down at my palm where I saw a small brownish hunk of something.
"Anna, what is this? Where's your bandaid? Did you take your bandaid off?"
"No, Mommy," she shouted. "I took my boo boo off!"
She had, indeed, taken her boo boo off. I was holding an old scab. I looked at back her triumphant face beaming at me in the mirror. I gave her a tired smile back before rolling down my window and flicking the thing outside. I didn't even have it in me to teach her that she shouldn't pick her scabs. I just hit the replay button on the Dinosaur song and kept driving.
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