On marriage

Marriage is difficult sometimes.  Like, really difficult.  While many days are great, some days I just want to scream at Dave.  People keep telling me how now- while we have very young children- is one of the most difficult times of our marriage.  They say we gotta hang in because this is a crazy time when emotions are running high and we're all running low on sleep.

A few weeks ago, I attended the wedding of a family friend.  Dave's mom, who is an Episcopal priest, officiated, and she gave a great homily.  It was one of those homilies that just hits home at a time when you need to hear it most.  So I asked her if I could share it here on the blog because, maybe, like me, you are in a place in your marriage or partnership where you need to be reminded about what it's all about.

Homily from the wedding of Jessica and Clint

by Rev. Mary McCullough

Jessica and Clint have much in common:

They both love to exercise – in fact that’s how they met and began to get to know one another.  

They both love to dance – evident in the pictures we’ve seen of the two of them showing off some serious moves.  

They both like to ride bikes.  In fact, Clint chose to propose to Jess on one of the Vintage Bike Rides they took together last fall.  

Albert Einstein once said, “Life is like riding a bicycle – in order to keep your balance, you must keep moving.  And if there is anything to say about Jessica and Clint – these bike riders are certainly movers.  They can get more done in a day than many of us can get done in a week.

I began to think about marriage being like riding a bike.  It’s a rite of passage when one gets their first bicycle.  It’s a rite of passage to be married.  They are both a symbol of one’s transition to a new age. 

One of the most important aspects of riding a bicycle is maintaining your balance – and sometimes that can get out of control.  

It takes courage, stamina, and attentiveness to ride a bike - The very qualities it takes to sustain marriage for a lifetime – courage – stamina and attentiveness.

Some days you will ride through marriage slogging uphill, it may feel slow and depleting.  Other days you will ride through marriage speeding downhill going so fast, everything goes by way too quickly.  Then there are the days that you ride the flat trails, going at a satisfying pace with opportunities to enjoy the ride, the view and each other.  Today is a new day – a day of hope and new life.  Today you begin a new ride.

Remember to treat each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together.  Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your relationship deserves.  Remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part that seems wrong.  In this way, you can ride through the storms when the clouds hide the face of the sun in your lives.  Take responsibility for the quality of your life together and it will surely be marked by abundance and delight.